Jaune's Hangover
by 4rgeMonger
Summary: Jaune wakes up with a nasty hangover, and no memory of the previous night. Even stranger, all of his female friends are acting off towards him, and he consistently has the strangest dreams... Rated T for swearing and lots of innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everybody, this is 4rgemonger bringing you an ecchi fic. Jaune's hangover actually started with a chat between Blake and I, so blame him for some of the dirtiness. Though a lot of it is mine. This is currently a one shot.

Jaune awoke suddenly, sitting up in his bed. Blinking to clear his vision, a splitting pain shot through his head, and he placed an arm under himself to stay up. He groaned and began to feel dizzy, and that's when he fell. He hit the ground with a loud thump, successfully waking Ren.

"Jaune? When did you come in? I was awake until two and you still weren't back yet," He said sleepily.

" Keep it down, will you? I can't really remember much of last night. I must have had something to drink, given the headache I've got." Ren chuckled and slid back under his sheets, nodding off as quickly as he'd woken up. Jaune knew he wouldn't be returning to sleep soon, so he stood up shakily and strode off to the showers. As soon as the warm water hit him, his eyes began to grow heavy and he felt himself begin to doze.

Jaune awoke and looked up, to find that he was still in the shower. He sighed and turned off the running water, and opened the stall to trip over the towel he'd laid out. Hitting the ground hard for the second time that day, Jaune thought nothing of it. He dried and dressed quickly, and stumbled back to his room. The trek to team juniper's room was a long and treacherous one, as stairs and ramps were now keen on Jaune's death. Oh how he hated hangovers. And the worst part was, he couldn't even remember last night. But then something mysterious happened, as he was in the hall that lead to his dorm he heard a light giggle. He turned his head quizzically and his eyes landed on Yang and Weiss, staring at him in an odd way he swore he'd seen somewhere but he couldn't place it.

"Good morning Jaune," she said with a cute smile.

"Good morning Yang," Jaune responded uneasily, sensing that something was wrong.

"You were hilarious last night, and amazing," Weiss said sultrily, and Jaune became very scared. She stalked forward and leaned on him, purring quite happily. And Jaune though Blake was the cat. He couldn't argue he wasn't enjoying it, but he was uncomfortable to say the least. Especially considering he didn't even know why she was being so obviously affectionate. Suddenly, Jaune felt his right arm get pushed between two objects that could belong to none other than Yang, he didn't need to say explicitly what they were.

"Um Yang?" Jaune asked slowly, taking a huge gulp as Weiss began to rub her face against his before suddenly stepping away.

"C'mon Jaune, you know you want it…" she whispered. Jaune had a fitful spasm and he sprinted off as fast as he could.

"What in the actual f…" he almost finished his vulgar sentence when he was tackled to the floor.

"Why did you try to run from Yang, Jaune?" a short scythe warrior asked. Jaune blushed and tried to push her off him but found his hand had pushed into something soft. His blush grew worse as he quickly rolled out of the pin and stood up, looking down the hall to see two white and yellow figures sprinting towards him. "Are you… Do you like me?" Ruby asked, her eyes wide.

"Bye Ruby got to go," Jaune said quickly as he ran away from the three, hoping Blake or Pyrrha wouldn't come from around a random corner to attack him. He spotted a corner and turned, and as soon as he noticed a table he ducked under it, only to find Sun.

"Sun?" he asked quietly. Then Sun put a finger over his mouth.

"Don't let Blake know we're here!" he shushed, and then they heard the footsteps. Sun began to sweat profusely, and he began to twitch violently.

"SUN WUKONG WHERE ARE YOU?!" a very enraged sounding Blake yelled. Jaune raised and eyebrow and decided to save the faunus from this perilous situation. He stood up and smiled at Blake.

"He went that way," Jaune said pointing down the corridor. Blake nodded and took off in that direction, but right as he was feeling triumphant he was finally caught. Yang turned Jaune to face her and she shaved his face into her bosom, hugging him tightly.

"I know you tried to run Jaune, but that's 'cause you were afraid of admitting your feelings right?" she questioned. Jaune clasped a hand on each of her shoulders, and managed to pull himself up for air. Yang pulled his face towards hers in an attempt to kiss him, but she was knocked aside by Sun who grabbed Jaune bridal style and ran off with him, using his supreme faunus skills set to out maneuver the girls.

"Sun put me down!" Jaune screamed in protest, but only after he figured they were out of a generous earshot distance. Sun looked down at him and nodded, dropping him. "Ow, I didn't mean like that…" Jaune mumbled. Then Jaune looked up and around, his eyes darting over everything so he could gauge where he was, but truth be told he didn't know where. "Where are we Sun?" Jaune asked, but the monkey boy was no where to be found.

"Hello there my brave warrior," said a familiar red-head who was walking out from behind a tree.

"Oh no, not you too Pyrrha," Jaune groaned. Pyrrha took several slow steps forward and planted a chaste kiss on Jaune's lips.

"Don't worry Jaune, I wasn't at the bar last night so I have no idea why they're all so infatuated with you or what you did, but it had to be hilarious," she chuckled. Jaune sighed, as he clasped her hand, and she hoisted him up.

"So you're not going to try to rape me?" Jaune asked innocently. Pyrrha gave him a devilish smile.

"I never said that…"

Jaune awoke with a start and looked down to groan. Great, extra laundry.

A/N: and done, it was all just a dream! Or was it? Feedback will decide!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- To Paradise on Their Whats?

A/N: Well I was overwhelmed with feedback, and as such it shall become a two shot!

Jaune threw his wet boxers into the hamper and locked the bathroom door, sliding on a new pair of the same variety hoping no one would notice. But his dream perplexed him, and what was worse, he had the world's worst headache. Was what happened yesterday real or fake? Well, if it was real that had to have meant Pyrrha had raped him, but from what he could tell she was sleeping contentedly just the way she'd been…

"Damn it!" Jaune whispered angrily. He couldn't remember one blasted thing about last night, so he didn't know if that's how Pyrrha was. So he had no grounds to disprove his dream. He swore again and slammed his fist to the wall, and sighed audibly. He was being way too paranoid, but then again, his virginity was on the line, and he wasn't ready to give it up this soon. But he couldn't argue, if what had happened in his dream was like real life, oh man. He shivered and mentally slapped himself. This was his teammate and good friend he was thinking these things about. But suddenly, several other individuals jumped into his mind. Yang, Weiss, and Blake. Not to say that Nora and Ruby weren't attractive, but they were more kawaii than hot. Jaune slowly opened the door to his dorm, and crept towards his shelf. He was nearly there, but he heard a soft moan come from the sleeping Pyrrha and 'he' immediately jumped up. Jaune's headache spiked as well, causing him to fall down with a resounding thump.

"Jaune?" he heard a female voice groan quietly, and he couldn't determine whether it was Nora or Pyrrha. He prayed it was Nora, but when he turned to face his roommate, it was the amazoness. "She took an eyeful of him in his boxers, and he saw her wet her lips lightly. "Hey, you're pretty nicely cut," she said eyeing his muscles that were more often than not invisible underneath his hoodie and or onesies. She quite enjoyed the full sight of him, and dare say she wished his boxers weren't on either.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up this early," Jaune whispered, but Pyrrha waved it off.

"Oh it isn't a problem Jaune, in fact, I'm pleased that you awoke me when you did. I was having a crazy dream about…" she trailed off, and a light blush colored her cheeks a shade of red not unlike her hair. Jaune stood up and walked himself to the drawer, pulling out his uniform and throwing it on quickly. He caught a glimpse of Pyrrha walking into the bathroom and locking the door, and immediately regretted it. She hadn't been wearing anything under her sheets except for a bra and panties. He rushed out of the room and fell face first into Yang, but specifically a region of her bosom.

"Oh wow Jaune, picking up from where we left off are we?" Yang asked as she held him inches from her cleavage, suspended. Jaune blushed and stood up straight.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't… Wait? Last night?" Jaune asked in a quivering voice. Yang stepped into his bubble and traced his abs from under his blazer.

"Yup, you were amazing," she giggled. Jaune nearly fainted, but instead took a huge step back. He saw behind Yang Weiss was giggling hysterically. That was his sign to let out the tension and release a breath.

"Phew, you had me scared there Yang, for a moment I thought we actually did it," he laughed. Yang laughed with him, but tried to hide the blush on her face.

"No, we just danced at the club, but if you want to," she said slowly. Jaune was glad that his pants were tight enough to hold it down, as he didn't want to give Yang anymore ideas.

"Well I'll see you ladies," Jaune laughed as he walked away down the corridor. He heard Yang whine, but another colder, scarier voice froze him in place.

"Going so soon?" he heard the heiress ask. He turned to greet her but was met with lips on his. He let out a cry of protest but it was muffled.

"Hey Weiss, what are you doing?!" an angered Pyrrha screeched as she just as much flew out of her doorway and pulled them apart.

"Having my turn with him, you guys had him last night," she said indignantly. Once again Jaune thanked his tight pants. "After all, once he'd had the few too many drinks he did announce he'd ride you and Yang all the way to paradise, and judging from the fact that Yang wasn't in the room until about an hour ago and the strange noises from team JNPR's room I assumed he did." Jaune did faint this time. It was too much for the poor boy to take all at once.

Jaune opened his eyes and was not pleased. Glynda was glaring down at him, and she looked very angry.

"Mr. Arc, I'd appreciate it if you'd actually stay awake during my class," she chided, and then walked back to the center. Now Jaune, I'd like you to fight Pyrrha in today's demonstration. He glanced over at her and realised it had all been a daydream. He cursed his brain for giving him such strange dreams, but thanked Monty it had all been surreal. He stood up but realised his balance was a little off. As he walked won to the stage, a nasty pain in his head and he nearly fell. He drew Crocea Mors and smiled at Pyrrha, who smiled back.

"I'll be more gentle than last night," she assured him. WHAT?

A/N: Which reality is real? Will Jaune's balls ever become un-blue? Will his pants ever loosen? Who caught the witcher reference? Only feedback will let me know if you want another chapter. Peace!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: Really, seven reviews? I am so honored to have actually gotten more than two reviews in one chapter :D.

ally had no idea what was going on. He'd woken up alright, and the only trace of abnormalities was the horrid pain in his head at Oobleck's class. Jaune would've liked to have blamed the teacher's quick talking and eccentrics as the cause, but having no recollection of the previous night made him assume something had happened. Furthermore, none of the girls would look at him, well asides Ruby and Nora but he guess whatever had happened didn't involve them. Jaune digressed. The girls would giggle as he passed by, and whenever he approached them nearly directly they'd blush and run.

"Oh Oum what's happening?" Jaune whispered to himself as he took the headache pills, chasing them down with a glass of water. It was lunch, and he was sitting all alone. The girls were gone entirely (other than the ones mentioned above but they kept a distance) so the only company he had was a silent boy across from him. Jaune took a scoop of the potatoes on his plate and silently chewed them, wondering about what had happened last night. It really was a mystery, he'd woken up sweating, with a bit of a headache, and blue balls. Something had to have happened, and judging by the aching balls it wasn't a topic Jaune and his sheltered life were prepared to confront.

"U-um, J-Jaune?" a short voice stuttered from behind him. Jaune turned and sighed at who it was. Velvet was blushing profusely, and poking her index fingers together in a way Jaune would've found cute on any other day.

"Listen Velvet, everyone's been shunning me today, and I don't know why. Spit it out," he said after a pause of awkwardness. She sighed and sat next to him.

"The girls told me to come get you so they could talk to you," she said quickly. Jaune nodded and stood up.

"Which is where?" he asked. Velvet stood up and gestured for him to follow. She led him through the grounds and to an old hill, with a sprawling maple tree in the center of it. Around it, the whole gang (other than the Ren, Ruby and Nora) sat under its shade. Velvet ran off as soon as the hill was in sight, which gave Jaune the sinking feeling he'd lose something (either a limb or his soul) by the end of the day.

Jaune slowly climbed up the hill, and as soon as he did, the girls all circled him like hungry sharks, closing off any escape.

"Morning Jaune," Pyrrha cooed, tracing her hands down his muscled figure. Jaune tried to back up but she grabbed his tie. "Want to know what happened last night?" she purred into his ears, causing two very different reactions in the upper half and lower half of his body.

"If it's R-rated, no," he stuttered, unsure of his resolve. Pyrrha grinned and backed up, letting Weiss step forward and slap him hard. "What was that for?!" Jaune cried out angrily. Weiss grinned and pulled him into a deep kiss, something he was entirely unprepared for. He felt the urge to kiss back, but his will was just a little more solid than he thought. She pulled away disappointedly after a minute, pouting at him.

"The slap was for running away last night, the kiss was picking up where we left off when I was so rudely interrupted," she scowled, glaring daggers at Yang. Yang simply shrugged and grinned, not caring. Weiss smiled at Jaune before backing up into her spot in the circle.

"Listen, i have no idea what's going on, please just let me go," he sobbed. Blake wrapped Gambol Shroud around his waist and frowned.

"That'd be no fun for us," she said, growling like an angry cat. Jaune shut himself up and looked to Pyrrha, who he figured he could trust.

"Can you release me, and then tell me what happened?" he asked innocently, but Gambol Shroud tightened and he lost his breath. "Oh okay," he gasped. Yang stalked forward and put her hands on his shoulders.

"I'll tell you jaune," she said softly. Jaune sighed with relief and smiled at her. As he was about to thank her, she spoke again.

"But better yet, I can show you," she said with a smirk. Jaune mentally sobbed. He wasn't getting out of this one.

* * *

Jaune awoke suddenly and laughed. Last night's party was wild, and that booze must've been what caused the dream. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room. He spotted each of his team mates and smiled a little, thankful that what happened at night in his head didn't happen out here. There was a time and place for thinking those kinds of thoughts, and when Jaune was in control of his thoughts was the inappropriate time. He stood up and dressed himself slowly, heading out to the training field to go wake himself up fully. But what he didn't realise was that from her windowsill, a figure looked out at him crossing the grounds with lust in her eyes.

"I'll make you mine, Arc," she promised herself. She then stood up and pulled the blanket away from the pillow stack on her mattress and draped it over herself. "Yes, I'll have him before the others, and he'll be all mine," she laughed, thinking all sorts of dark and pleasurable thoughts of the blonde warrior. His life was about to get so much more complicated.

A/N: Yay! For now I think I'll end it here, for the same reasons I listed in the D'arc Times latest installment. I'm trying to get into other fandoms, but the ones I'm pushing into require longer and better chapters than even the ones I write for this fandom. So with that said, I think the updates for this will be pushed out a little slower, if I update at all. Enough reviews, favorites and follows will convince me if I should continue making this, and if I do, it'll be a little less trippy than the last few chapters. So bye peeps, leave (more than seven) reviews and I'll see you all later!


	4. The Bar: Part 1

**A/N: **So this is a chapter about the bar, and only that, so none of the fun inception stuff you've all grown accustomed to. So without further ado. Here's what you've all been wanting.

Jaune stepped out of the limo impeccably dressed. His suit was a deep shade of black, brightening his pale skin and blue eyes. Seven beautiful girls followed after him, each wearing their own unique style and holding themselves in a way that their personality allowed. To any onlooker, Jaune would've been a pimp. But he knew he wasn't graced with that. No, it was simply a special occasion that merited celebration. Ren was turning eighteen, and a spot at one of Junior's rival clubs had been booked.

Jaune sighed as he stepped towards the entrance, saddened by his friend's sudden sickness. Ren had fallen ill almost an hour before the limousine arrived, and urged the rest of the party to go along without him. Jaune opened the grandiose glass door and held it open like a chauffeur for each of his friends, each passing through before him. _Oh Monty why does this always happen to me_? Jaune asked himself as he let it swing closed behind him. Yes, everyone had decided to go without Ren besides Nora and Ruby. Nora wouldn't leave her beloved friend behind, and Ruby didn't meet the age requirement for participation in nightlife. Jaune looked up and around at the check-in room, and gaped.

"Quite amazing, isn't it?" Pyrrha asked, standing beside her awestruck leader. Jaune could say the same about her, though he wouldn't dare while she was in proximity. The amazoness was absolutely stunning in her formal garb, even more so than her battle gear. She wore a deep crimson bodice tightly hugging her flawless figure, while her skirt went far down to ankle. It split up the side to give her better mobility, as she was always was paranoid of attackers, especially after Yang's lengthy description of the brawl at Junior's. Her hair went down straight, but was split into three locks about halfway down. She caught her fearless staring, and blushed slightly, not very dissapointed.

"Both of them are," Jaune mumbled, before he realised his mistake. He looked up quickly, hoping she hadn't heard that. Pyrrha had in truth heard him, but pretended like she didn't for both of their sakes. As much as she wanted them, relationships between hunters and huntresses were liabilities, as one day you'd be laughing with comrades and the next you'd be twelve feet under ground. In a coffin. No, she wished she wasn't so attached to him, but she couldn't pretend these feelings didn't exist.

Jaune analysed the golden arches and fine mosaics adorning the walls as the line of people shortened, and he approached the podium where a man in a beige suit stood.

"Is there a Mr. Arc here with a reservation?" he called out, and Jaune led the group of girls towards the front.

"That's me!" he called out, raising his hand slightly. The man nodded and pointed into the door.

"Table four-thirteen, drinks and dancing begin at ten," he said gesturing to the door. Jaune nodded and straightened his tie, pushing the wooden door open. He was greeted by a blast of scented air, and as he entered the large dome-like space he realised it smelled of pine and cool lily blooms. It was a nice scent.

"Jaune, the table's over here!" Yang called. She had already sat herself down with the other members of team RWBY, as she'd been here before. It was a large circular table, and the number of seats were perfect for the rather large party. "Five minutes 'til the bar opens," Yang said leaning back in her chair. Jaune's eyes wandered in her direction and lingered there for a moment. She didn't look too different in the clothes she wore now, as her midriff was still quite visible. But instead of wearing short shorts she'd made an effort to be formal and wore a short skirt that went to her lower thigh. Her hair was disheveled as ever though, because her hair was too sacred to touch. Jaune turned his gaze quickly, because unlike Pyrrha Yang would never let Jaune forget his wandering eyes. No, Jaune wasn't ready for that sort of teasing. He didn't need blue balls.

"Cool, anyone here gonna get a drink?" Jaune asked. Yang shrugged, and everyone else seemed to consent to the indecisiveness. "Well they came free with the reservation, so I'm not wasting the money," Jaune sighed. He looked to the metal sheet covering the bar. It obscured the view of anything behind the counter, so the mahogany stools were all he really saw of the bar. Jaune looked up at the large performance stage as a elevator-like cube lowered and dropped a tall man with red shades and a black fedora stepped up to a turn-table.

"Ladies and gents, ready to party?" the DJ asked into his microphone as he placed his headphones around his ears. Whoops and yells went up through the multiple tables and crowds of young people, though Jaune couldn't care less. This trip was meant for Ren, and if he wasn't here it suddenly wasn't as fun. Jaune heard the scraping of steel and turned his head, smiling at the sight. The bar had opened up. Jaune stood up and moved to the large strip of polished marble topped by mahogany that'd been varnished.

"Looks like you're not having a good time," the bartender said apologetically as he polished a shot glass. Jaune nodded and cringed as the loud music began blasting.

"Not really my setting," he admitted, shrugging. The bartender nodded and put a shot glass in front of him. Jaune raised and eyebrow and looked up to the man.

"Can I get you something to drink? Brandy's pretty good when you feel bored or sad," the tender explained. Jaune shrugged. He was going to order a pepsi, but he supposed a brandy wouldn't be bad.

"Sure," Jaune said with a sigh, leaning onto one of his hands as he positioned his elbow on the bar. The man nodded and filled the shot glass up with the golden liquid, sliding it over to the knight. Jaune picked it up and eyed it. He'd never drank before, but it couldn't be that bad. Bottoms up.


	5. The Bar: Part 2

**A/N: Both these chapters combined are technically chapter 4, so I didn't care how many reviews, favorites and follows were gained. But when this one is done, I still need some signs of people wanting me to do more. I'm an attention whore, and I apologise. **

Jaune guessed he was drunk, but he didn't really know. After all, he'd never been drunk before in his life. He'd figured he'd be stumbling around all disgruntled and slurring, but in truth he stood a little taller than usual and felt like he could punch the world. And he did, but the world seemed to be moving away from him… or was he moving away from the world? He didn't really care at this point. Looking to the dance floor, he saw his friends messing around and swaying to the beat of whatever it was that was playing. Hench or something like that. He began to approach them, straightening his tie for about the tenth time that night.

"Hey ladies," he greeted. "DJ! Can we get a slow song maybe?" he shouted. The guy gave him a thumbs up and a slower piano solo began. "Miss Nikkos, may I have this dance?" he asked with a formal bow. Pyrrha didn't know how to respond. A huge blush formed on her face, and she stuttered an answer after a long awkward pause.

"S-sure Jaune, I'd be delighted." But in her mind below all the happiness and excitement there was one question she wanted to keep down. _This isn't like him, where'd the confidence come from_? she wondered. But all of her doubts were swept away and her mind returned to what was at hand. Jaune spun her and then steadied her with a hand placed on her hip, smiling like a gentleman. She gripped his shoulders and smiled back as they did the steps required of a ballroom dancer, moving around the floor. Then the beat picked up, and so did their dancing. He grabbed at her wrist gently and swung her up in the air, and as soon as she touched down turned her in a three hundred and sixty degree spin. She was literally swept off her feet. He picked her up by her hips and placed her back down, as they continued their steps, gathering an audience from the other friends.

"What happened to Jaune?" Yang asked incredulously. Weiss shrugged with a grin, before replying.

"Who knows, but I hope he dances with me next." And this threw the two into an argument as to who could swing with the knight. The music stopped slowly, and Jaune all but disappeared. Pyrrha was too awestruck and silently content to watch him leave, and she immediately went and sat down, smiling like an idiot. Meanwhile, Weiss sat at the bar with a Glacier in one hand and a frown. Where was he?

"Looking for me princess?" a low voice asked. Weiss blushed profusely and faced the aforementioned man.

"Well actually- I was um," she began, but Jaune cut her off. In a very, very uncomfortable way. Well at least if Pyrrha had been looking. His lips were pressed to hers, and she was too stunned to think at first. But then she regained her senses and began to kiss back, feeling his tongue enter her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned lowly, but suddenly she felt empty, snapping her from her pleasurable daze. He was gone. "Dammit Arc!" she shouted angrily.

Elsewhere, Blake was silently reading one of her erotic fantasy tales. SHe knew she needed a new hobby, but she was far too lazy to go looking for one. Besides, this was quite enjoyable, though she'd never admit it. Whenever someone approached she'd hide it in her blouse lightning-fast, assuring no one would ever know. But as she was turning the page, she felt a presence behind her. The book shut and she sighed audibly, letting the stranger know her discontent.

"Not many people can sneak up on me like that," she stated. "So Sun, when did you decide to…" she never finished the sentence. She was much too awestruck too. How had the bumbling idiot gotten behind her? "Jaune?!" suddenly she was far too aware of the book in her left hand. With a screech, it was hidden again. "How… when… how?" she asked. Jaune chuckled.

"Didn't wanna interrupt you, so I decided to take a peek at what you like to read. Naughty Blake," he said with a grin. Blake frowned and crossed her arms. "We should re-enact it sometime," he said. Blake sat up rigidly and froze, eyes wide. She turned, but the warrior was gone. Blake frowned, not sure what to think.

"So now Jaune's batman…"

* * *

Yang sat down, bored out of her mind. Jaune had disappeared as soon as he and Pyrrha finished dancing, and now the girl would only blubber incoherently. She sighed and cracked her knuckles, looking around. She saw Jaune approaching, and smiled.

"How ya doin' Jauney?" she asked as he closed in. The blonde shrugged and sat beside her, handing her a pepsi. It was diet, just how Yang prefered it.

"Not bad," Jaune replied, grinning. Yang returned the smile and cracked open the can, taking a sip of the cool drink.

"How'd you know I liked diet?" Yang asked curiously when she'd taken a decent swig. Jaune laughed quietly and tapped his temple.

"Intuition I guess," he answered simply, as if it was basic addition. Yang nodded and raised it to her lips again, finishing it off.

"If only you could apply those instincts to combat," she joked, not intending to insult him. Luckily, Jaune didn't take it that way.

"I don't know Yang, the rewards are a lot better the way I'm using them now." Yang only shook her head as she covered her grin. When had he gotten this alluring? She didn't really know, or care for that matter.

"Hey Jaune," she began. But he wasn't there. Now that was interesting.

**A/N: Bam! Finished the backstory, now plot can begin :D Anyway yeah, not holding this story hostage, and I never will. But to motivate me, lot's of reviews favs and follows would be good. Very good in fact. **


	6. Chapter 6: A Tree

**A/N: Well, I didn't get 7 or more reviews but whatever. Fifty follows! Sweet! Soon we'll be on the front page, I hope. So here's a celebratory chapter. And holy shit did you guys see the new trailer! All the teams ohmygurd! Btw I think I might take d'arc times down and make new one when season 2 ends… If any of you enjoy that story and don't wanna see it die than too bad! Yeah, sorry this took so long. Enjoy.**

Jaune sat in his Advanced Aura Applications class utterly and totally wasn't that the subject bored him, but today's lesson did. It was useful to know how to manifest your aura into a hand, or knife, or bow. And there was the occasional lesson on semblances in which Jaune excelled. But today… was today. The lesson wasn't on aura, which wasn't great considering this was a class about aura. Goodwitch was simply letting everyone know that the school had various activities planned. Great way to spend an entire period.

"The school ball is approaching quickly," Goodwitch said suddenly, to which Jaune perked up immediately. He met Pyrrha's gaze from across the room, to which she immediately smiled. Little did Jaune know pretty much every female in the room had their stares fixed upon him. He didn't know. Oh god Jaune didn't know. The class went rather quickly as most people fantasized about the ball, and nodded when Goodwitch asked them a question.

* * *

"I cannot wait for this ball!" Yang said as they walked down the hall, punching the air happily as thoughts of her dancing with Jaune raced into her mind. Other than Ren and Nora, everyone else had the same thing on their mind. Jaune really only had eyes for Pyrrha though, and a light blush brightened his cheeks as he imagined him and Pyrrha dancing, and a romantic night afterwards. He shook it from his head, last night's dream suddenly coming to mind. _Think of them lustfully when you can blame your subconscious for it_! he said angrily in his mind. Jaune sighed, something not missed by the females surrounding him.

"I don't even know what I'm gonna wear," he said sullenly. Almost unanimously, each girl within hearing range imagined a romantic day shopping for ball gowns and suits with Jaune. In an instant, all of his thoughts and any words he might've said were drowned by desperate cries and invitations to go shopping. Shopping. That word sent shiver up his spine, as media had set quite a stereotype for that thing. But he knew that the media's stereotypes were often untrue, so he said the smart thing.

"We should all go," he said with a smile. And with that all of his friends, excluding Blake who was good at hiding emotions, felt their hearts melt and all but crumpled. Jaune frowned, and seeing that they were all distracted he took the opportunity to sprint away as fast as he could, sensing something bad was beginning to build up. "Bye guys!" he called over his shoulder, absconding in a blur. Blake, who was the only one of the group with common sense at that moment, shrugged with a slight grin and walked off. Though she didn't seem it, she was waiting expectantly for the shopping trip on the weekend.

"How do you do it Arc?" she asked herself quietly.

* * *

Jaune sat on the tree near the large pond outside of the quad, mulling over his thoughts. Lately, he couldn't help but notice the extra attention he was getting from chicks. The idiot was a good role to play, it helped him ease his way into Pyrrha's heart quite nicely. But now he had a few more problems than just Pyrrha. And now the idiot act was becoming more than an act. It was his new reality. He'd magnetized too many of them when he was aiming for just one, so life wasn't as simple as he would have preferred.

"Come up here often?" he heard a soft voice ask. He looked beside him and suddenly a certain feline faunus was present beside him. Jaune grabbed onto the branches above him, as the startle nearly toppled him.

"Yeah, not a lot. But I do whenever I need to think. The roof where I train with Pyrrha is a bit too… public. Especially now that I realise Cardin can hear and see everything I do." Blake nodded and sighed, leaning onto the trunk.

"I realise your problem." Jaune frowned and raised an eyebrow. "And not the one about Cardin or the roof. You like them all, but you're not sure how much or why. So you're playing calm, but you know that eventually you're going to have to make a choice," she said. Jaune's eyes widened.

"Holy shit, Blake." She chuckled and stood up on the branch, smiling a little.

"I read a lot of romance novels," she said briskly, and then jumped with extreme grace off the tree. Jaune chuckled lightly and leaned back, falling off and tumbling into the water.

"Monty dammit!" he shouted, but he loved the feeling of getting his problems off his chest. Unfortunately, the problem hadn't disappeared.

**A/N: I realise this chapter's a bit short, but I felt like I needed a new update. So this wasn't rushed, I assure you. I'm thinking of making an AU of this story, one in which the bar is full so they take a flight to a resort and then visit a bar there. Then they get drunk, parachute, and dark plot ensues. How many of you would read that? Does it sound like anything you know? Also, how many of you want a contest? The prizes would probably be an OC, my Google doc shared to you, and other stuff of coolness. Tell me, and don't forget I'm open to ideas.**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I offer my immense apologies dear readers. There's been a lot going on and between writing my novel, and filming let's play videos I've neglected all of you. I just checked the fav and follow count and literally flipped shit. Those numbers jumped! So here's a well deserved chapter. (Also, I realise the dance already happened canonically but whatevs!)

"You better ask now or all the good ones will be gone," Cardin laughed as he nudged at Jaune. There was a rather sad history between CRDL and JNPR but after a massive Grimm incident on a fielding mission the teams had grown close.

"I know..." Jaune mumbled as he eyed Weiss and Neptune. "Blake and Weiss are taken, and I'm just guessing Pyrrha is too..." He said, pursing his lips. Cardin shrugged.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea," he said casually.

"Who're you going with, Cardin?" Jaune asked. It was something the taller boy had always eluded.

"Well, you know how I've changed my opinion of Faunus right?" Cardin began slowly. Jaune nodded. "And I've been gone a lot lately..." He trailed. Jaune nodded again, not sure where this was going. "I've been hanging out with Coco a lot and I'm probably going with her," Cardin said in a blur, his face reddening.

"Dude that's great!" Jaune yelled, slapping his friend on the back in congratulations. Jaune opened his mouth to speak again when Russel appeared and pulled Cardin off.

"We'll this sucks," Jaune sighed as he walked back to the team dorm. Taking note that no one was there, he dashed to the mini fridge and retrieved his parcel. He pulled the cap off his bottle of Dusty Nevermore vodka and took a swig. It's not that he was addicted or used it as a pick me up, he just really liked the taste. Or at least that's how he liked to justify it. He was halfway done with the bottle when the door clicked open.

"Jaune?!" Pyrrha asked.

A/N: I realise that chapter was short, but I've been waiting too long and I just needed to put something up. Also, should I keep NeptunexWeisd and BlakexSun or what?


	8. Chapter 8: Drunk Again

**A/N: So feedback dictates that I shrek all the canon shippings. I am totally fine with that actually. So hopefully this chapter will be a little longer. **

"To the socially awkward," Jaune said as he toasted with Ruby. This dance was more than a little embarrassing, considering how Pyrrha wouldn't talk to him since the alcohol incident.

[Flashback]

"_Mr. Arc, I assume you've been stuffing your fridge for some time now?" Ozpin asked as he leaned towards Jaune. The boy in question lowered his head and frowned. _

"_Yes, Professor..." he admitted shamefully. Ozpin frowned and took a sip of his coffee. _

"_I see... And how many times have you been intoxicated?" he asked slowly. Jaune raised his head at that question, a little unsure as to why Ozpin had asked. _

"_Once, professor," he answered. Ozpin nodded and put his mug back on the table. _

"_Alright, be sure to stay sober, else this might turn into a problem. But for now I see no problem with it." _

_/*\ _

"_What did he say?" Pyrrha asked slightly angrily as Jaune exited Ozpin's study. Jaune shrugged, but found that he was pinned against the wall by Pyrrha's polarity. "This is serious, Jaune," she growled, a mix of tears and fury in her eyes. _

"_He told me as long I didn't get drunk I was fine. But…" he began, when Pyrrha dropped him. As he hit the ground, his words fell out of his mouth, and as he tried to finish his sentence the sound of footfalls from an absconding Pyrrha drowned out anything he tried to say. _

[Flashback end]

Juane eyed Pyrrha sitting over on the stairs, and looked down at his shoes. He knew it was his fault, but he didn't know what he could do. Jaune decided to solve his problem with what started his problem. He pulled out a small flask of pure alcohol, and he spiced up his punch.

* * *

Neptune was off talking to Sun, so Weiss sat alone tapping at the arm of her chair in boredom. But then a very familiar presence poked at her senses, a presence she hadn't felt since…

"Hey Snow Queen, never pictured you as the kind to just sit in the corner twiddling your thumbs," a very familiar blonde said as he sat down beside her. Weiss knew something was different. He sounded more suave, and much more alluring.

"I usually don't," she said with a small frown. Jaune downed his glass of punch and

smiled at her.

"Well I understand that you're here with someone else, but asking you for a dance is too tempting," he said with a hint of danger in his voice. Weiss giggled a bit and held out her hand; Jaune took it and led her to the center of the room. For the second time, Weiss was completely enchanted by Jaune. The dance was amazing, and since usually Arc was clumsy and awkward it very much surprised Weiss how elegant and poised Jaune was acting. And damn did he look good in that suit. She stared into his bright blue eyes, and he stared back. Weiss began to lean towards Jaune, her lips parted and ready to kiss him.

"Sorry it took so long, Weiss," Neptune said, suddenly taking Weiss' arm. SHe gasped a little, but kept it near silent so that Neptune wouldn't hear. Where had Jaune gone? She scanned the room, but found no sign of the blonde haired angel.

"Not again…" she whispered.

* * *

Blake was in similar predicament to Weiss, though the faunus had no idea. Sun had excused himself, apologising the entire time until finally he was gone, so Blake stood like a sentry on the railing overlooking the party. In all honesty, Blake was glad her friend's had convinced her to come. There had been a lot of stress on her lately, and she couldn't deny it was taking its toll.

"Hey Blake," a very familiar and very sultry voice said. Blake's eyes lit up, knowing that Batman Jaune was back.

"Of course only you could sneak up on me," Blake said with a smile Damn he looked good in that suit. It was almost enough to make her go into heat right then and there.

"It pains my heart to see a woman lonely on such a nice night," Jaune said as he stood next to her. "But I guess that's what you like to be, right?" Jaune questioned. Blake looked up at him. She wasn't exactly sure how to answer the question, but she didn't need to.

"I believe you promised me we'd enact my fantasy novels," Blake said with a light blush. Jaune laughed and pulled Blake close to him.

"You don't need to always be so alone," he said, releasing her from his grasp. Blake looked down at the party, knowing when she checked on Jaune again he'd be gone.

"Next Halloween, you need to be Batman," Blake said with a giggle.

* * *

Yang was having a great time. Well, up until she had gotten a little queasy and left the main room. Ruby had gone off who knows where, and her other friends were otherwise occupied. Normally, Yang would've gone and socialized with others but she decided the night air would probably be the best for her right now. Taking a sip of some diet pepsi, Yang sat and mulled over some things. Her thoughts all lingered on Torchwic and the White Fang, that was, until Jaune sat down next to her. Damn he looked good in that suit.

"Hey Jauney," Yang said with a smile. Jaune returned it and brushed the hair from his face.

"Party getting a little boring?" he asked curiously, cracking open a can of heretical coke. Yang laughed and leaned back on her elbows.

"Nah, not really. Just no one in there to hang out with right now. Truth is, I'm a little depressed I didn't get asked. But then again, I really had no time with everything that's happening."

"Well, I know it's already started but do you wanna go to the dance with me?" Jaune asked in a smooth voice. Yang laughed again.

"This whole scene feels way too familiar," she said when her bout of laughter had ended. Jaune nodded.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Enjoy your pepsi, Yang," he said.

"Wait, but we never even danced!" Yang said, standing up and turning to face Jaune. But he was gone, yet again leaving her feeling mystified. "Seriously Arc, you're driving me crazy in too many ways…"

* * *

Pyrrha sat sadly on the roof of the building. She had attended this dance hoping that at some point, Jaune would approach her and attempt to amke ammends. But it seemed that her hopes were futile.

"Hey princess," she heard from the staircase. Pyrrha looked over behind her back and saw the boy in question approaching her. "Listen, about the whole drinking thing…" he began. "I'm really sorry, I did it once and then it became a thing and…" he sighed, not finishing.

"But enough of my lame excuses. I know you wanted me to ask you to the dance, and I know I didn't. So to make up for it…" he said, holding his arms open. Pyrrha smiled. This night wasn't so bad after all.

**A/N: Yes, Yang is a pepsi addict. I don't know why I added that, but get ogre it.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Yo, three reviews is cool, and we broke into seventy and ninety! A little disappointed in the review amounts, but whatever!**

Jaune awoke with a start, an odd headache that seemed just at the threshold between painful and uncomfortable.

"What the hell happened last night?" Jaune asked himself. He remembered toasting to Ruby about anti-socialism or something, but everything afterwards was a blurr. "Monty Christ," he sighed as he opened the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and extracted some aspirin. "Careful, Juane," he sighed with a smile. "Don't take too many or you'll end up like Flowers," he chuckled.

After the meds, Jaune stalked back into his room and got dressed. It wasn't very early, but neither was it late. 5:25, an hour and five minutes until breakfast began. Jaune frowned, after hearing his stomach growl, and decided that risking a raid into the kitchen couldn't be all that bad. Jaune pulled up his hood and began to walk down the hall slowly, unaware that he was being followed. It took a few minutes, but eventually he hit the doors of the cafeteria. He attempted to open them, but they were locked shut.

"Damn," Jaune groaned. He pulled his sword from its sheath and aimed it at the lock.

"Wait! I can help with that," Blake said as she stalked out of the shadows. Jaune, who was now crouched in a corner from the spook, nodded quietly. The faunus approached the door and began examining the keyhole, eyeing it with scrutiny.

"An easy lock," she said with a smirk as she lifted a small piece of metal to the barrier between Jaune and the satisfaction of his stomach. A click sounded shortly, before the door opened up. Blake turned back, a slight blush glazing her pale features.

"There you go," she said curtly. Juane smiled and nodded his thanks as he entered the large space. He walked very quickly past the tables, and straight to the large serving area. With the grace of a poorly trained acrobat, he vaulted over the counter and into the food store. There it stood, the idol to his Indiana Jones quest, the angel to his hunger, the perfect being in all existence.

"Want anything, Blake?" Jaune asked as he turned. Blake's eyes widened ever so slightly, realising that he had discovered her presence. She had been following him as carefully as possible. "Yeah, I knew you were still there. Jaune produced something else Blake couldn't quite see, but the scent gave it away as her favorite. Jaune set a tray of tuna in front of her, and went to the coffee machine. "Black tea, right?" Jaune asked over his shoulder. Again Blake's eyes widened.

"Y-yes," she stuttered. Soon Jaune had brought her the cup of tea, and he sat beside her with a smile. Blake looked at Jaune's plate, and saw that he was enjoying a big bowl of a strange pink liquid. "What is it?" she asked.

"Cookie dough, I know its bad to eat uncooked, but it's just so good that I can't help it," he said, shoveling it into his mouth. Blake giggled slightly, but then a thought came into her mind.

"Before you even start, I know I promised you something I probably won't be able to carry out. So I'm sorry about that," he said regretfully, finishing his bowl. Blake frowned, guessing what he was talking about. Then suddenly, something happened that Blake hadn't predicted. Jaune leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her lips. Blake reddened from head to toe and looking back at it she didn't know how she didn't go into heat then and there.

"There you go," Jaune said with a smile. He stood up and began to walk out, but turned to her before he exited the building. "Goodnight, Blake," he said with a grin.

**A/N: A bit of a short chapter, but this is the intro to an Arc (lol dem puns doe) the likes of which you can guess. So anyway yes, a few more than three reviews hopefully, and more favs and follows. Who knows, we might get up there with Y.A.R.N and Massages someday. Let's make it happen!**

**-4rgeMonger**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Now rated T! We're getting there guys, 91 favs, 111 follows. Yay! So with that, let's get on with it! Weiss time! **

It was snowing in at Beacon. That in itself was an odd occurrence, but as Weiss Schnee curled by the the fire in the lounge, with a steaming mug of cocoa, she knew there had been many more oddities through the day. In fact, it had all started when…

"I'm going for a walk through the snow!" Weiss announced as she excused herself from the dorm, dressed in full winter attire. A large white jacket with spotted lined with fur of some rare beast or another, thick yet chic white winter pants, high boots and a beautiful cyan scarf. And of course, Myrtenaster strapped at her side. Weiss turned the corner down one of the halls when she bumped into someone and nearly fell. But then, with the grace of a dancer, Jaune caught her in a pirouette and angled her the way she was walking originally.

"There you go, snow queen," he said with a smile. Weiss blushed furiously and nodded her thanks. "Where are you headed?" he asked curiously. Jaune was in his regular clothes, with the exception of his shoes, which he'd substituted for snow boots.

"I was about to take a stroll through the forest, care to join me?" Weiss asked hesitantly, a little hopeful but doubtful both at once. Jaune simply smiled at her though.

"Sounds great, I know about a great spot," he said happily. Weiss smiled like an idiot, but suddenly realised that she had to keep her cool to not be obvious.

"Good, that's acceptable," she said slowly. "You lead the way." And with that they were off. Weiss very much enjoyed the walk, the way the snow crunched under her feet, the scurrying animals, the light snow from the tops of trees. She noticed subtle differences in Jaune too, a more confident stride, a more radiant glow, and his hair seemed neater. Not by much though, just enough to seem significant. It was wonderful. And then Weiss saw the lake. It wasn't much of a lake really, more like a small pond, but it was glossed over by a sheet of delicate ice, and the ice seemed to have a pattern engraved into it; a large snowflake.

"Jaune, it's beautiful," she said breathlessly. Jaune grinned and nodded, pulling small blades from his pocket. "What are those for?" Weiss questioned. Jaune dropped two, and leaned down, tying them to his boots.

"What's a good snowfall without some ice skating?" Jaune said with a smile, as he glided off onto the lake with poise and grace Weiss thought he could never accomplish. Weiss soon followed, and the two spent the rest of the afternoon sliding and gliding across the cyan glass.

"You know Jaune, this hasn't been all that bad," Weiss said with a chuckle. Jaune smirked and pushed her slightly, to which the ice princess gave a yelp and leer.

"Heh, so you expected it to be awful?' Jaune taunted. Weiss scowled at him, and stood herself up. "Well how about this?" And Weiss sat stunned as everything unfolded. In the blink of an eye, their lips met.

**A/N: So yeah. Like I said earlier, now rated t. I just couldn't decide what made this M before, so I changed it in hopes that our community would grow! So I hope You all enjoy the update. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Well damn, this chapter took a while. Sorry for that, but my writers block was real. In fact, this author's note was the only thing I had finished up until now, so yeah. Oh btw, I'm thinking of starting a LOL fic. I dunno though, what do you guys think? I'm also going to do a bit of scandalous advertising and suggest that you all check out my Rosario Vampire fanfictions. They're both pretty good, in one, I mock Gary-Stus. And the other is just your regular well plotted story. So here's a jingle I wrote, some of you might recognise it. Here we go *ahem ahem* These are my well written fics so you better read 'em all, and if you don't I'll put your head through a wall. So hit that fav, and leave a review! And if you don't well then fuck you. Oh and RIP Monty, no more Ren, no more cool weapons, and if we're unlucky, a very different RWBY… Such sad, much tears. **

Yang slammed her fist into the punching bag, the contact ripping it straight out of the ceiling and sending it through the air. Across the training room, a blonde knight was hacking away at a training dummy, unaware of his imminent demise.

"Jaune!" Yang cried as her eyes widened, but it was too late. The punching bag slammed into the boy, sending him forward. He tossed his sword away, but unfortunately, he landed on it and his face was cleaved in half in a fountain of red. Yang sat there stunned, tears in her eyes. She had just killed one of her best friends….

"Jaune!" Yang bellowed as she sat up from bed, rocking fort ruby and making every other girl roll out of bed.

"Monty, Yang, could you be any louder?!" Blake yelped from the floor, rubbing her head. Weiss huffed and stuck in two earplugs, before returning to sleep. AMazingly, Ruby lied in bed unscathed.

"Sorry guys, I had a nightmare," Yang said apologetically, before her eyes widened. She stood up and rushed out the door, leaving Blake in a strange state of shock. But then a blush covered her face.

"Wait… Didn't she yell for Jaune?"

Yang kicked down the door of team JNPR and sprinted over to Jaune's bed, cupping his face in her hands. She sighed in relief, seeing it was whole.

"Yang, what the hell are you doing in here, at this hour?" Pyrrha questioned as she stood in front of Yang, arms crossed.

"Just checking up on him," Yang said as she released his face gently. "Got a problem with that?"

"Yes, in fact," Pyrrha retorted. "We can take care of him just fine," she said with a scowl. Yang clenched her fists.

"Well I'm sorry that you take kindness as an insult, I guess I'll be going," Yang huffed as she exited. As soon as the door was closed, Pyrrha dove to Jaune's bed.

"Don't worry Jaune, I won't let any of them have you, you're all mine…"

The next day, Yang found herself in the training room, but this time, she stayed a meter away from the punching bag at all times. It sort of saddened her, but she saw Pyrrha and Jaune practicing at the far end of the room so she decided bench presses and curls wouldn't be that bad. It was a little later in the day, and Yang had just finished her fifth rep of fifty on the press, when she saw Pyrrha pat Jaune on the shoulder and leave.

"Heh heh, predator mode, activate," she giggled evilly as she stalked towards the blonde knight.

"Hey Yang, what's up?" Jaune asked as he sheathed his sword, greeting her with a smile.

"Not much, just saw you were practicing… Where'd Pyrrha run off to?" She asked carefully. If her competitor was going to be back soon, she needed to be ready.

"She went to go grab lunch," he answered, leaning back on a locker. Yang grinned. The cafeteria was all the way across campus.

"Cool, mind if I see you do a drill or two?" Yang asked, putting a hand on her hip. Jaune grinned and nodded.

"No problem." He then pushed his thumb on a button and several bots crawled out of a hatch, weapons drawn. He rushed forward and ducked under the first swing, pushing his sword up into its metallic rib cage. Immediately, he raised his shield to block the next attack, and he sent out a pulse of aura to snap both of them away. With a roar, he decapitated the first bot, and with a spin to win that even Gareth would be proud of Jaune chopped the last robot into chunks.

"Hey hey hey, you got good, blondie," Yang chuckled as she walked over and punched Jaune in the shoulder.

"Pyrrha's training has been good to me," Jaune shrugged. Yang put a hand on his shoulder and stared into his eyes.

"You know, Jauney boy… I could train you too," she said sultrily. Jaune smirked and put a hand on her hip.

"You seem pretty confident about that," he responded, pulling her close. Yang giggled and grinned.

"Jaune? Where are you, I brought lunch!" Pyrrha called. Startled, Jaune dropped Yang and began looking around frantically.

"Yang, hide!" Jaune hissed frantically. Yang nodded and crawled away quickly, ducking under an assisted leg press. If Yang had balls, they'd be a blue as winter. Boy did she need a pepsi.

**A/N: Yay, only one chapter left until this story arc finishes! I know you guys must hate it, but I love taking huge breaks between chapters and watching the follow/fav count go up. But we've been lacking in reviews lately. I don't care though, whatevs. Don't go freaking out that I won't post a new chapter until we get more reviews, I'm not that much of an attention whore. Peace everyone! **

** -4rgemonger (the swaggiest) **


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Jesus, I've taken forever. This isn't even the chapter, but I felt like I needed to apologize for the wait. See, I've been writing a novel, like an actual one, and that may or may not take time. SO dun wurry, it'll be posted. And then I'll give u a sneak peak as an apology.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Well everyone, here it is, the finale. The last chapter in story Arc (lol the puns) before…. before… I don't even know what comes next honestly, stuff just happens. I eat as many fruity pebbles as I can, then I run a marathon. I then take a sheet of butcher paper and barf onto it, and I make a new chapter based on the shape of the vomit. Oh and I'm posting this from my phone so the overall format is probably shitty. So now that I've educated you all lets get to work.

Pyrrha wasn't blind. But she was also a warrior, and warriors kept their cool and stayed calm during stress. But it was getting harder and harder to ignore the other girls' advances on Jaune. She sort of understood why, ever since that night, and then that other night, he'd been undeniably alluring. But it made her jealous, seeing as she'd liked Jaune before the alcohol incident. She didn't even know where Jaune was at the moment, she was sitting by the fountain solemnly. He wasn't responding to the messages she sent him, and everytime she saw one of the other girls running anywhere, she immediately worried he was seeing them in private. But at the same time she worried she was being too paranoid.

But something odd happened. A small paper airplane hit her in the face. She cringed, but didn't think much of it. She looked around for the offender, but no one was in sight. She very carefully unfolded it and looked at the writing. Meet me at the dust plane dock at midnight. Don't worry, I'm not Cardin or drunk ;) Pyrrha frowned and stood up, more than slightly confused. It was obviously Jaune, but as far as she remembered Jaune wasn't one to throw around the winky face. She chuckled, realising worrying about a winky face was stupid and petty. But then a blush covered her face. What if the winky face implied…

Pyrrha left quickly, biting her lower lip and walking a little awkwardly.

Pyrrha strode up to the dock, through the pitch black night. A ways away she saw a faint light, though she couldn't guess what it was. It was quite obviously Jaune, but if the light was candles she was going to literally laugh. And as she close in a small giggle bubbled up past her lips. Jaune sat strumming a guitar rather poorly, surrounded by a checkered blanket and multitudes of candles.

"Pyrrha!" Jaune exclaimed as he looked up, a smile on his face. "I figured you'd show up early!"

Pyrrha smiled back and sat down, getting lost in his eyes.

"Was that you singing?" She asked after a moment of anime-esque eye staring.

"Yeah, but it was a composition I'm still learning," he explained, chuckling nervously. "Wanna hear a song I can actually play?" Pyrrha decided to humor him, and nodded her head.

Jaune strummed quickly, starting the song with vigour. Pyrrha's eyes widened as he began to play, executing his chords perfectly and occasionally pounding his hand on the guitar.

"I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye I saw a pretty little thing approaching me. She said 'I never seen a man, who looked so all alone, could you use a little company? If you pay the right price, your evening will be nice and you can go and send me on my way,'" Jaune stopped for a moment and raised his eyebrows suggestively at Pyrrha, eliciting a blush from said girl.

"I said 'you're such a sweet young thing why do you do this to yourself,' she looked at me and this is what she said. 'Oh there ain't no ret for the wicked, money don't grow on trees. I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed and ain't nothing in this world for free! Oh I can't slow down, I can't hold back, though you know, I wish, I could. Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked, until I close my eyes for good," Jaune concluded. Pyrrha grinned, but Jaune suddenly began again.

"Not even fifteen minutes later I'm still walking down the street, when I saw the shadow of Cardin slip out of sight. And then he swept up from behind, he put his mace up to my head, he made it clear he wasn't probing for head lice!" Pyrrha laughed, swaying her body slightly to the beat.

"He said give my all you got, I want your essays not your life but if you try to make a move I won't think twice. I said you can have my work but first you know I gotta ask, what made you wanna live this kinda life? He said there ain't no rest for an asshole, glory don't grow on trees. I got nerds to beat, I got women to meet, and ain't nothing in this world for free. You know I can't slow down, I can't hold back, though you know, I wish, I could. Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked, until I close my eyes for good."

"Wow Jaune, did you write that whole second portion yourself?" Pyrrha questioned, not knowing the musical jargon.

"Well I didn't write it, I just cut out some words and inserted new ones. Kinda like a crappy Gary-stu self insert," Jaune said, looking directly at YOU. "Isn't that right, fanfiction?" But his partner cleared her throat, directing the knights attention away from the now decimated fourth wall.

"Jaune?" Pyrrha asked slowly, a fire in her eyes.

"Yes," the golden boy responded, leaning forward.

"Kiss me, right now."

It was an odd situation. Simultaneously, four girls awoke with a cry, each with a blissful look in there eye. But then reality hit them on the head, and each of them fell back onto their beds


	14. Chapter 14- Straight Outta Remnant

**A/N: Damn… You're still reading this? Congrats, you probably have a better idea of what's going to happen next. Lemme pitch you guys a few ideas, seeing as how you guys are awesome and better at writing than me. There are two ways this story can go, and you guys tell me via PM or review which you think is better. After this filler chapter, I'll explain. **

"Alright guys, if we're gonna be a rap group we're gonna need a cool group name, then we can all pick rapper names," Neptune blurbed excitedly, spinning himself in his office chair. The five boys sat in one of the study rooms of the library, each in a chair or couch, chatting idly. Jaune, Sun, Neptune, Fox, and Russell had discussed the idea earlier in the day, and now they'd ll met to discuss it.

"Alright, I'll be the Dark Knight," Jaune told his pals, leaning back in the bean bag chair. Sun frowned and shook his head.

"Jaune, you aren't Batman, no matter what the readers say," Sun said with a sigh. He did a backflip and hung on one of the ceiling bars with his tail. "I have an idea for the group, Faunus with Attitude."

"That'd be cool if we were all faunus," Russell said with a chuckle as he typed on his scroll. "Jaune, you should be The Womanizer." Jaune sat back up straight and sent a glare at Russell.

"No, I've got something good. I'll be Guillotine," Jaune stated with a smirk. His friends exchanged nods of approval, and went back to arguing about the group name. Their meeting went mostly the same, but eventually they'd all decided on personal names.

Sun was Petty Theft, Neptune had decided on Blue Moon, Fox called himself Blind Monk, and Russell planned on rapping as Thrasher.

"If all of our names had a theme the group would be easier to name," pointed out Neptune, but he was quickly punched in the arm by Sun.

"But we've all chosen badass names, so screw that idea. I've got the perfect idea though. The Inmates." Sun was silent, letting his dea sink in.

"So… we're all prisoners?" Fox asked, not totally on board with the idea. Sun smiled and nodded eagerly.

"Cuz lyrically we're so lethal that the cops put us in the slammer," Sun exclaimed, looking to his friends excitedly. "It's perfect!" Russell and Jaune looked at each other.

"Actually that's pretty cool," Jaune agreed, crossing his arms. Russell then agreed as well. Neptune and Fox jumped onto the idea very hesitantly, but they were all The Inmates now and that's what mattered.

"But before anybody does anything, we have to see how good we all are off the top. We have a freestyle battle, and whoever wins is technically our 'lead' rapper," Fox suggested. The group all nodded and Jaune cranked up the volume on his scroll.

"Alright, hold it down hold it down," Sun yelled. He looked at Fox, his opponent, and grinned. "I like your eyes there, Foxy boy. Wait you can't see? Oh what a joy! You got a two hot chicks on your team. It's a shame you'll only be able to dream, how they'd seem, but I guess you'll never find out. Bitch I'll beat you in the second bout. You're from remnant, sweet remnant, but you're just a useless descendant, of some blind-ass mutha fucka who was bent in the mind. To ever create offspring? That was unkind. Wukong, big dong, known to steal your shit, I could you pretty quickly, you wouldn't see where you'd been hit!" Sun ended, up in Fox's face.

"Look into these eyes, dirty fool. May be blind but I can see you're just a tool. You think I give a damn about my shit? I'll spit hot fire and laugh as your lit. You got off easy when those cops let you go. But they weren't even trying, didn't you know? You're a failure criminal, didn't you know? Without any talent, didn't you know? I can take you in a fight and leave you kneaded as dough. I've crushed stupid bitches who've stooped too low. Don't need eyes to deliver a can of kick ass, you'll fail harder than you must've in every class!" Russell then jumped in from the sidelines.

"You come here talking trash but you ruined your chances at draining my class. You try to hype yourself too much, and fall justly as such, and now I'll deliver judgement and finish in time for my lunch. Let's start with you there, Sun Wukong, you couldn't even rap in pace with the song. This hip-hop beating will leave you black and blue, and powerless like I do to every Gary fucking stu. And Fox you were supposed to be classy and dapper, but your rhymes fell flat like a shit into a crapper. My whole future is bright, you'll suffer tonight, and fall victim to this wondrous sight!" Russell concluded, raising his arms.

"Hey, knock knock. Did someone say wondrous? Yo I'm the hunter with the most swagger, assholes run amuck but will soon stagger. My skills are much greater, both rapping and in mapping, how to kick your ass! If you're named after an animal then I'll eat you like a cannibal. I have the balls to ask out Weiss playa, tore down your ego like the Kool-aid man, oh yeah! You two need yoga," Neptune said, pointing at Russell and Fox. "You need a shower," he said pointing at Sun. "And you'll all need to learn how to gain some real power!"

"Real power?" Jaune asked. "Yeah! You wanna roll with me? I'll pick up four bitches and then you'll see. I'm a hardcore player, so you best say your prayers, before I steal your bitch and show up as the grand mayor. I'm a badass fucking warrior, use your phone call and ring your lawyer, but I'll drown you in a river like they shoulda done with Tom Sawyer! You don't know who you're taunting, trying to bust a rhyme against a dude like Jauney. You'll find that the weak one is actually the best street gun and also the most badass in all of Beacon!"

**A/N: Who won? Who's next? You decide! So now here are the two ways I'm thinking the story could go. It could stay the Rom-com it is, but with the addition of the new teams and the tournament. Or the story could do a one eighty, but that'll mean I'll have to re-rate it to M, cuz I have dark stuff planned. So thanks for reading! And check out mah mixtape mang.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** **I want you all to yell at me today. When you finish reading this chapter leave a review telling me how much you hate me, please. I'm dumb, and I've taken on way too many writing projects! In the middle of the semester! Seriously, I don't know how you'd like having to balance as many classes as I have with the number of writing projects I'm currently working on. Oh and I should probably plug those right now huh? Y'all should check out my three Rosario Vampire stories, **_The Best OC Tutorial_**, where I'm currently trying to teach all the writers who frequent that fandom that OC stories don't need to be Stu/Sue centered. Then there's a crack fic I wrote called **_Tsukune Writes Fanfiction_**, which is supposed to poke fun at Sues and Stus. Then there's **_The Clash_**, my war story. Oh and I've started working on that really dark story y'all wanted, so keep your eyes open for that. And I've written some scripts for HBO but I only sent them in recently so I'll keep you guys informed on that, as well as my novel. So pluggo-pluggo, let's start this shit! **

"Ren, I've got a question for you," Jaune said, laying down on the couch. Ren nodded his head in response and scribbled quickly on his notepad.

"Good, that's what I'm here for, Jaune. I don't make judgements, so you can ask anything," Ren stated, finishing up what he was writing on his notepad.

"It's just that… A month or two ago when we all went to the bar, something happened. I don't remember what it was, but afterwards, nothing's been the same. I've been having these crazy dreams and all the girls are fidgety around me. What's happening?"

"Well, my friend, I'm afraid to say I don't know the answer to that question. But I can help with some of your confusion. The girls are all nervous around you because they have mixed feelings about you, most likely due to something you unknowingly did at the bar. The dreams are caused by your subconscious; remember, the mind can't make anything new during a dream, it has to be a combination of old events. So your brain is trying to show you what happened. I suggest you go to the school's actual councillor and ask him for a few days of R and R so you can meditate on the situation."

"Wow, Ren! That's a great idea! I do soul searching and stuff!" Jaune exclaimed as he sat up excitedly.

"Actually, Jaune, it's brain searching," Ren corrected, jotting down a few last minute notes. "But yes, that is the premise."

"Cool, I'll go talk to him now!" And with that, Jaune sprinted out of the room. Ren sighed and put down the notepad. With a creak, the closet door opened and Nora poked her head out cautiously.

"Wow, I never knew you were a therapist!" she exclaimed. "That's awesome because I have some stuff I wanted to talk about!"

"No, Nora, I'm not a therapist," Ren defended, standing up. "I'm just a very good listener. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go pick up a package from a friend." He closed the door behind him, and Nora waited until she heard his footsteps echo down the hall before she opened his notebook. In it, she saw a beautiful drawing of a little spider that had been hanging over Jaune's head.

"Wait you were ignoring him!?" Nora cried out, but Ren was already gone. "Damn! Why do all of the guys on my team have to be Batman!"

* * *

"Ren, do you know where Jaune went?" Pyrrha asked her teammate as she leaned her spear against the dresser. "I haven't seen him all day."

"Don't worry about Jaune, he's on a little vacation doing some self examination," Ren responded calmly, sketching. "He'll be back in a day or two."

"What?!" Pyrrha exclaimed, looking horrified. Ren sighed and stood up, facing Pyrrha. He set one hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"He had some issues he wanted to sort out, he's going to his hometown to spend a day or two with his mom. He's in good hands, Pyrrha." Pyrrha nodded poutily, but Ren could see he'd gotten her to accept the situation. "Alright, you look like you could use some food."

It was actually three days later that Jaune's dustplane would be arriving at Beacon, to Pyrrha's sadness. The teams all bustled about their morning routines, trying to finish up quickly so they could go and greet their friend. Team Juniper was the first group to make it to the pier, and they all chatted happily as they strolled.

"Hey, screw you asshole! This isn't my fault!" An engineer by a stack of crates shouted at another.

"Come on Burney, everyone knows you always fuck up at the worst times," the second engineer retorted, swinging his wrench behind him sassily.

"Geoff, I swear to Monty I will fire you," Burney huffed as he went to work trying to fix the forklift.

"Shit! Burney, it's them! They'll see us!" and with that the two dimensionally shifting Rooster Teeth members phased out of the show.

"What was that all about?" Nora asked with a raised eyebrow. But her attention was shifted to the dust plane hovering in towards the station.

"He's here!" Pyrrha shouted happily, taking off towards the landing zone. The plane set down quickly, and Jaune took a few queezy steps out with a suitcase in his hands.

"Guys, I figured out what happened that night!" Jaune exclaimed happily. Ren smiled broadly.

"Yeah, what was it?" He asked, walking forwards. Jaune set down his suitcase and grinned at his team.

"It was the craziest thing, I was…" But Jaune never finished because a large wrench with the words 'Plot Device' written on it in sharpie smacked him in the head.

"Dammit Geoff!" Burnie shouted at his incompetent employee.

"Hey, 4rge told me too!" Gus defended.

**A/N: Ha didn't think it was going to be that easy did you?**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey mates, sorry it took so long for me to update. RWBY's fanbase gives me cancer of late so I wasn't sure I'd ever come back to RWBY but hey. This is a fun story to write. **

Jaune didn't know. He didn't want to know. Of late his life had been… confusing. It sounded stupid and too much like a Christopher Nolan movie, but Jaune had a hard time knowing what was a dream and what was real. He guessed real life was distinguished by an eternal headache but he figured if a hangover lasted as long as his did it must be out of a dream. Jaune sat up in his bed and glanced at his arm. He put his hand on it and pinched, and even though he felt the pain he wasn't sure it was real. WIth a sigh, he moved himself out of the sheets and put his hands over his face.

"Why me?" Jaune asked the ceiling, before plucking a bottle of Five Hour Aura off his nightstand. He unscrewed the lid and downed it quickly.

"I don't think anyone will ever the know the answer to that question, my friend," came a voice from across the room. Jaune spun quickly and tried to pull Crocea out but he ended up falling on his ass like an ass. Jaune was an ass, let's accept it already. Not an ass like a jerk but he's pretty stupid. I digress. Jaune stared up to where he'd heard the voice, and saw a figure leaning on the wall, concealed by shadows.

"Who the hell are you?" Jaune asked, crawling back. The figure chuckled, part at the question, and part at the fact that Jaune was still in his boxers gripping the hilt of his sword and tugging like a maniac.

"Having trouble?" the silhouette asked patronizingly. Jaune murmured and let go of his sword. "Anyway, I'm somebody unimportant."

"Well obviously you have some plot relevance if you're here right now," Jaune retorted quickly.

"Bruh. I have relevance, just not here. And stop acting so aware, it freaks the readers out…"

"Wait a minute… Are you?" Jaune began, eyes widening. The figure laughed again, interrupting him.

"Sorry Jaune, but you'll learn the truth at some point. This can't continue forever. And with that I bid you farewell." He then turned and hurled himself out the window.  
"Wait!" Jaune roared, standing up and running to the window.

"Jaune?" Jaune turned and saw Pyrrha sitting up in bed rubbing her… eyes. Don't assume. Assuming is bad. Jaune turned red, realizing he was standing in his boxers, illuminated by the moonlight.

"Oh… wow you've been working hard," Pyrrha said with a smirk, eyeing his figure. Jaune felt a slight trickle of blood roll down his face, and thought he better cover his lower body.

Jaune sat up suddenly in bed. He looked around and yelled out in anger. He was honestly so sick of this shit. Jaune grabbed a cardboard box from underneath his bed and extracted a six pack of beer.

"I'm not an alcoholic," Jaune assured himself. He cracked a bottle and took a swig, feeling his throat burn. This had to be the real shit. There was only one time he knew reality was as real as real stuff was. And that was under the influence. Jaune gulped down the last drop and tossed the bottle aside. He opened the second and began to chug, unaware that his teammates were slowly waking up after hearing his bottle shatter against the floor. Jaune felt his head swim and took down the last sip, sighing in content. He stood up and tossed some clothes on quickly, before absconding. He felt he could take on the whole goddamn world. In the hall, light barely peaked through the windows and a few early students peaked out of their rooms. But Jaune was focused on one person in particular.

"Hey Jaune!" Yang exclaimed as she came down the hall towards him, drying her hair. Jaune smirked, to which Yang blushed. He seemed exceptionally attractive this morning.

"Morning, beautiful," Jaune responded. Yang blushed. "Hey, you wanna go for a walk or something?" Yang stuttered and gasped up at the hot blonde stud before her. She couldn't throw away this opportunity.

"Hell yeah!" Yang cried. "Just lemme change…"

"You look good as is," Jaune said quickly, silencing her. She was wearing a simple t-shirt and her usual short-shorts. She didn't figure it was acceptable but the more she thought about it the more she realized Jaune also looked disheveled, with an untucked white button-up and a pair of saggy jeans. She grinned, and took his hand.

"Then let's go!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Pyrrha switched on the lights as Ren cuddled a weeping Nora. Upon waking up she'd cut her bare feet on something, and nobody knew what had happened nor where Jaune had gone. As soon as the light came on they all saw the empty bottle and broken glass. It was then Pyrrha realized where Jaune had gone, and why the room smelled faintly bitter. Her eyes widened and she stared out the window.

"Oh Monty…"

**A/N: Now that I'm back in FF I've decided to adopt a more regular update rotation. It'll be this one, The Inferno (if you've seen or read Rosario Vampire you should check it out) and Cry (the spinoff to this story, check it out). Oh and by the way I'm gonna delete some of my really old stories so if anyone wants to adopt **_**The Darc Times We Face**_** talk to me about that. Otherwise it's just goin down. So yeah… I'll be back… Hopefully?**


	17. Chapter 17-whoops

p style="text-align: left;"span id="docs-internal-guid-99cb3a57-1b00-bc6b-86c4-77f4c75986f6"span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent;"Author's Note: You know this story really isn't what I wanted it to be when I started. This was initially a one-shot, and then it became a two-shot, and then a three shot. But I'm actually taking down every chapter after the third one and continuing from that point in the story. I felt like it would be a disservice to remove all those chapters but the writing wasn't stupendous and it was honestly turning into a choppy troll story that was like the millennium saga of Godzilla. It constantly resets without previous continuity. So I wanted to go back to the story's roots, which were more fun to write and undoubtedly more fun to read. I'm sorry if you were actually enjoying the more recent segments but I wasn't satisfied with myself as a writer and I didn't think any of you were satisfied with the story (at least in comparison to the beginning)./span/span/p 


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